It’s happening. Something I’ve been praying about, something that has for so long seemed intangible, unaccessible. A blessing that I’ve felt unworthy to receive, that somehow I had put a fork in God’s road and messed up his plan. But, here I am in a cold southern Starbucks, dozing on a comfy pokadotted beige chair, miserable and complaining.
I e-mailed my best friend, A. and told her of my unfortunate misery. I outlined my tormented physical state (ladies – you know the feeling you get oh . . . once a month or so where you can’t help but hurl insults at your closest loved one), my pins and needles attitude, how I was cranky and not at all happy about the waiting period and the bumps and curves in the road. I knew she would understand and say the things I needed to hear. ”What about this and that?” I asked, listing my concerns and anxieties. And then I waited.
My Blackberry buzzed, and I quickly picked it up to receive the heartfelt warmth and sympathy I knew would be there. This is what best friend said:
“This is like waiting for Christmas . . . don’t miss the fun in this. You’ve got to enjoy the process along the way with all the bumps and turns. It’s about the journey, not the destination. Keep telling yourself that. Take a nap. Take a bubble bath. Eat some chocolate. Pray. Make yourself smile and laugh. And call me whenever you want.”
Now, that is the best friend I am so thankful to have. Saying what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. I immediately was drawn back in time to my wedding, how I fretted over every little detail and was a miserable grump through the whole process of preparing. And my mind went even further back as I prepared for my proms, fussing, crying over some miniscule prom dress mishap and eventually having a good time. But, did I enjoy those times to the fullest? I’d have to say no.
So, I sat back and thought about what would make me enjoy this moment. What did I want to do? I watched the sun shining on palm trees swaying, the green canopies fluttering over tables. I decided I wanted to take a nap. I just needed to float to another place. I scrunched down in my plush chair, trying not to show China and France as I was wearing a skirt, and focused on being happy. I squinted and braced myself for happiness. Sleep was not coming, and I soon realized I was holding my breath. I needed an attitude adjustment. This was going to require effort – and a little help.
I ordered my usual – a tall iced mocha, light on the ice and waited for happiness. I didn’t focus on the unexpected, the unknown, the waiting. I prayed and asked God to help me. I remembered that He does want good things for me, and He is here with me. And I simply lived in the midst of something wonderful.
