Recently we’ve reconnected with some college friends. Friends that didn’t know we had adopted. So, I feel it would be a good idea to tell our story in more detail . . . from the beginning.
April 4th, 2008 — I came home from a lousy day stuck in traffic. My husband sat across from me in the living room as we went over our day. I complained about my job while he listened. It was then his turn to summarize the day. He ended with – “Oh yeah, your dad called me today.”
Weird, I thought. My dad never just calls Tim. “What about?”
“There’s a girl at your Uncle’s office that’s pregnant and wants to give her baby up for adoption.”
Tim must have noticed the light in my eyes because he said, “Now wait. I don’t think we should get involved. She’s due at the end of this month . . . it’s just fishy. Why would she wait this long to decide what to do?” He had a point, always the logical one.
“But-” I protested.
“I didn’t even want to tell you that he called. I just don’t know about this.”
I took a deep breath. I felt this was our chance, but understood Tim’s hesitation. We had experienced our share of disappointment. Maybe he was right. But, we agreed to pray about it over the weekend.
I then snuck off to the next room to call my parents. They informed me that it was a girl. A girl!! I was too excited to stop hoping now. I began envisioning pink onesies and dust ruffles. What joy!!
By the end of the weekend, we agreed to call my Uncle and inquire more. He gave us the birth mother’s phone number. We called right away. Kasey was relieved that we had called. That she had found someone to take care of her baby. Her other option was abortion, but she’d waited too long. She wasn’t considering anyone else and urged us to go ahead and contact a lawyer right away.
Before we knew it, her boyfriend, Harrison - who was very involved – was calling to ask if we’d fly down the next week. They’d like to meet the people to whom they would be giving their child. And so . . the next week, we suddenly flew to Florida without saying a word of our intentions to our church family.
April 16th, 2008 — We were still skeptical when we arrived in Orlando. Could this be happening? Would they change their mind? We just prayed and hoped.
We met with our adoption agency, Heart of Adoptions in Orlando, first thing. All the papers were drawn up and we were on our way, our excitement over the top. Now, we were to meet with the birth parents.
The birth parents chose to meet us at Applebees, next the hospital. We arrived early and took a tour of the hospital, introducing ourselves to the staff. Then, we made our way over to Applebees.
Kasey and Harrison were a young, nervous couple – both 20 years old. None of us knew where to start, but we were soon asking questions. What hobbies do you have? Are you musical? Do you like to read, write? Is that your real hair color? Do you have any food allergies? Harrison was in a band and Kasey loved to read and write. She planned on going to college.
They were just as curious about us as we were about them. They truly cared who their child would spend it’s life with. I handed Kasey a crimson photo album detailing our lives – our church, the home where their child would be raised, the fenced-in backyard, the seasons we experience in northern Jersey, our families, and our holiday celebrations. She gave me a huge smile, and was so pleased to have it.
We were told that Kasey was due on the 22nd and would have a scheduled c-section because of her scoliosis. We couldn’t wait. The next day we attended her doctor’s appointment with both Kasey and Harrison. That was the day we first heard the heartbeat. I couldn’t believe this. Oh, God . . . please don’t let our hearts be broken, I thought. I already love this child.
We went to a few more appointments in which we would find out that Kasey didn’t have scoliosis and that she didn’t need a c-section. So, we were there for the long haul, waiting it out. In total, we stayed in a hotel across the street from the hospital for one week. That gave us plenty of time to do all of our shopping and so we set off for Target and Babies R Us buying pink frilly onesies, pink pacifiers and burp cloths, and a pink and brown diaper bag. This was so exciting! Our little girl would be here soon!
The Monday before our baby was born, we went for an ultrasound. We listened to that beautiful sound, the heartbeat. And the cranky doctor we got that day flatly announced, “That’s no girl. Little girls do not have _______.” My jaw hit the floor. A boy? A boy? I kept saying. How could we be having a boy? I didn’t even look at boys’ things in the magazines or stores. I always went straight for the girl things. I just couldn’t imagine . . . a boy?
It took me awhile to get use to the idea. Kasey asked us if this changed our minds. “No! No!” I said, hoping I didn’t look disappointed. I wasn’t disappointed. I was just shocked . . . and yet overjoyed at the surprise of it all!
We left the appointment, called our parents and began taking back all the pink things and buying blue. It would only be four days later on April 25th, that we would watch Kasey labor. We would talk awkwardly with her family who clearly and emphatically disapproved of this adoption. Yet, Kasey had made her decision. We were still nervous that she would change her mind.
By that evening, she hadn’t progressed and so we went to our hotel, where we laid in bed all night without a wink of sleep. Nerves had taken over.
April 26th, 2008 — Having not received a call by 7am, we decided to make our way over to the hospital to see what was going on. We arrived in time to see that Harrison was suited up to go into the operating room. Kasey was having a c-section. My heart was in my throat.
Harrison came right back out saying that they had to put her under and he was not allowed to be in there. Ten minutes later we heard the cry and saw the double doors open. The nurse came out pushing a little bin with our baby. Our son. I stood next to the birth father as we peered into the bin. “He’s beautiful,” I gushed. Harrison was pale and his mouth hung open. Clearly he was not ready for the emotions that he would experience that day. Again, I was worried, until he said, “Give me your camera” and walked into the nursery to take pictures for us.
We were there every day thereafter, bonding with Nathan, feeding him, changing his diaper and spending time with the birth parents. They wanted to see us in action with Nathan, to feel comfortable with their decision. Our time spent with them will always be special to us.
April 28th, 2008 — Kasey was healing well and seemed at peace with the situation. Harrison was noticeably sullen on that last day. He wanted us to know, “You guys may be the parents, but we love Nathan very much.” We assured him that Nathan would always know that.
After much emotion and waiting for papers to be signed – you can read of this part in it’s entirety under And then there were three – we took Nathan out of the hospital, forever ours.
May 7th, 2008 — Tim had to return to NJ as soon as we left the hospital, but I had to stay in Florida with Nathan until we had permission to leave the state. Fortunately, my parents live in Florida so we stayed with them for a wonderful week and then flew back to NJ.
So . . . . how did we do it, not being prepared for a child? Good question. We had been preparing for adoption since the fall of ‘07. We began our homestudy in October and it was completed by November. We only needed to quickly update it for the Florida adoption since we were planning to adopt internationally (but nothing ever worked out).
In the month of May, I had 3 baby showers – A Florida shower. A Ghali family shower on Mother’s Day. And a church shower. To say the least, I was overwhelmed and it took me all summer to finish my thank you cards. We didn’t get his nursery finished until August. But, we are grateful to have been blessed and supported by so many people.
Things are still crazy, but wonderful nonetheless. Nathan is a happy, healthy, loving child who has the biggest smile and heart melting giggles. He weighs close to 20 lbs at almost 5 months and he’s tall for his age. He’s learned to roll over and push up. Quite the drooler, I believe he’s teething.
Nathan is a true miracle, an abundant blessing, and we couldn’t ask for more.
